Tag Archive: nostalgia


Who remembers going for a Sunday drive?

A treasured memory of mine from when I was a young girl, was going for a Sunday drive after our traditional early afternoon family dinner of macaroni and meatballs. A celebrated family gathering of delicious flavors, and of varied conversations that often included stories, laughter, and debate. After which, my mother often would say to my father, “Freddie, let’s take a ride.”

It was the 1970’s. The sun appeared to shine differently, magically-brighter. Entering through glass panes, it landed on every article in the room with beams of hope, and a subtle but distinct at-ease sense that lingered in the air. It traveled through one’s spirit—a hopefulness down to the feet infused with innocent joy eager to move throughout the day. There’s never been more distinct sunshine. Not for me.

I’d join my parents in my father’s Pontiac for a drive. I was the youngest of seven children. Older siblings opted-out with their own agendas. Sometimes, but not always, my sister, Joanie, and brother, Freddy, would take a drive. The three of us were closest in age in what my father liked to call his “second family.” The split between his seven children—the first and the youngest with eighteen years between them. I can distinctly recall thinking to myself about my oldest brother, “but who is this guy?” when he would visit from college on sporadic weekends, then try to administer authority over me at the ages of three and four years old.

Sunday drives were either aimless in nature in which nine out of ten times we’d stop for Carvel ice cream, because second to my mother’s saying, “Freddie, let’s take a ride,” she’d say, “Let’s get ice cream.” I was in love with all of my mom’s ideas. I also loved a vanilla-chocolate twist on a cone with colored sprinkles. Other times, when the drive wasn’t merely to get out of the house routine and to enjoy a mild breeze through a partly rolled down window while taking in the Long Island sights, it would include visiting my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. We’d alternate Sundays, between rides with no destiny but ice cream, to going to dad’s family in the Bronx, then to mom’s family in Brooklyn. Talk about the best of worlds (and food!)

Importantly, I must not forget to include the occasional drive, after relentless pleading on my part, to Palisade’s Amusement Park in New Jersey. “Daddy, can we go to Palisade’s Park today? You said, maybe last week. It’s this week. Can we go, please? Daddy, Palisade’s Park, today, please, the rides… I can chuckle to myself now when I recall my mother’s not so subtle cringing, or eye-rolling upon seeing their commercial air on television.

In Brooklyn, my maternal grandparents lived in a beautiful brownstone that included their own Italian specialty store. Imagine the bread, tomatoes, and sandwiches for a few things. You could enter the store from their kitchen through a heavy Dutch door. Sometimes, my grandmother would open the top portion of the door, and I enjoyed leaning onto the bottom half to peer into the store. I remember my grandfather coming home from a long day of work down a hallway and through that door on nights when I’d sleepover. He always took the time to play with me and my dolls at the dining table. His cigar burned, and there was a nearby jug of homemade red wine that sat on a sparkling Formica table with silver-edging, surrounded by six vinyl chairs. Later, my grandmother would make me comfortable on a pull-out couch to sleep with a blush-colored satin comforter.

In the morning, the backdoor to the courtyard was opened to allow a refreshing breeze. My grandmother nearby in her railroad-style kitchen, which was really part of the whole room. There was a dinged-up large aluminum coffee pot that sat on the stovetop with freshly percolated coffee at all times of the day. I remember her cutting fresh vegetables and the sizzling of meat in a pot filled with olive oil. She was robust in an apron that went over her head and tied around her back.

A black buzzer was attached to the backdoor molding that connected with the apartment above where my Aunt Marion and Uncle Charlie lived with their children, my cousins. They would buzz each other when they needed to speak and communicate by talking outside from one floor to the other. I loved going between each apartment up the grand staircase in the entryway with its gorgeous mahogany railing. When you first entered the home, my grandparent’s German Shephard, Bart, would jump up for a kiss and pat on the head before my grandmother would tell him, “Va bene, basta. Bravo ragazzo. Vai a sederti.” (Okay, enough. Good boy. Go sit down.) My mother grew up in this brownstone with her brother Vincent, and two sisters, Catherine and Marion.

The Bronx. A different story. A different dialect. My maternal grandparents did not even believe that my father was Italian when they first met him with his Sicilian slang. He lived in Harlem and shined shoes to help my grandmother put food on the table. He would speak to me about the importance of eating my potato skins, and never to throw anything out just because it’s burned. His sisters were Lucy (my godmother), Josie, and Mary. His brothers were Tony, Vincent, and Sammy. My father told me of how he swam in the East River and played stickball. He was hit by a car three separate times!

I never met my paternal grandmother. She died the year I was born. Catarina was her name. She was dark-haired, and quite tall compared to my grandfather that stood only 5’1″. My grandfather, more often referred to as Pop-Pisciotta, or Grandpa-Benny was not one to be reckoned with. Despite his height, his stature was like that of a sailor. Think Popeye. He had thin lips and a sturdy nose that took a turn to the left. He was a bricklayer, tough as nails, and as he aged into his nineties, my father, uncles, and cousins would laugh in amazement as he’d start fights with neighbors half his age over one thing or another. One time, when he was elderly, he grabbed a bat and went after a younger tough guy wising-off to him, and the man in total disbelief, fear, and respect, backed-off.

Going to the Bronx was more about visiting aunts and uncles. Grandpa Benny lived with Uncle Sammy and Aunt Mela. My father’s family were seven siblings all together, and there was no shortage of first cousins, each of them with jovial personalities. Our aunts and uncles were great fun and big love. The Sunday drive over the Throgs Neck Bridge was one that I always looked forward to, watching all of the sailboats gather on the Long Island Sound.

Though we had already eaten an earlier dinner, once we arrived, the cold-cuts would immediately be placed onto the table. Everyone enjoyed sandwiches, my favorite was always Genoa Salami, followed by fruit, nuts, and sweet desserts. My aunt Mela had the voice and smile of an angel with magnetic blue eyes when she asked with the warmest sincerity if she could get you anything else. All of the aunts and my mother were brilliant at making everyone feel nurtured. The men were strong and steadfast. There were voices across the table speaking in the Bronx-twang, which is what I like to call it, but soft, and refined by Italian family love. The kids played together in another room while the women talked and drank coffee, and the men played cards.

The ride home on a Sunday was always contented. On the way home from Brooklyn, the Bronx, a Long Island drive to get ice cream, and even the occasional one from Palisades Park, it was quiet and reflective. There was easy gratitude in knowing we were rich in what we shared together.

Sometimes, I’d let my eyes give into their heaviness and close on the way home as the road hummed beneath us. I knew my father would carry me inside, and I’d rest my head on his shoulder. I knew I’d sleep comfortably in my bed, with my sisters and brothers nearby, and parents that loved all of us. I knew when I got out of bed in the morning, I’d smell something tantalizing that my mother was preparing in the kitchen. I could count on, without doubt, feeling loved—magical sunshine, even on a rainy day.

Today, at times when life is painfully still, lacking luster, and there’s waiting, desiring something more, or different, I like to recall the sunshine of the 1970s, even if it’s only in my mind, it carries my heart through hardship. Sometimes in a brief moment, I catch a glimmer of yesterday that feels profoundly real today, and I imagine I can actually step inside of that car for a drive and see them all once again.

Until then,

Perhaps someday in the liveliest sunshine of Heaven—

Maria Pisciotta-DellaPorte ©2020 All Rights Reserved

 

Maria Pisciotta-DellaPorte ©2020 All Rights Reserved

 

 

 

 

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We are moving-up, not necessarily away from meeting downtown.

 

You’ll pass by a brownstone home. Its rich corner history—an ever-present glow to its muted exterior, bulky-banister, and steps that capture ice exceptionally well in winter. Spring and summer—they grow the perfect blend of street noise along with perky green leaves on bows of hundred-year-old trees. Voices come alive like jazz along a cheerful stroll to Court Street for gelato. Shadows—like maps with stories—line the street in kaleidoscope fashion, cast from a Brooklyn sun bouncing-off of rooftops through sturdy branches.

 

Grandparents lived here once upon a time, speaking in Sicilian dialect; Aunts and uncles too, one up, one down, a buzzer between, and a holler from the back window.

 

The kids there would hand-hit a Spalding against the home’s lowest level. A spray of the hose across hot cement on each other’s red cheeks and sweated hair brought some relief on ninety-five degree July days. The park across the street was empty, capturing heat like fire on a metal slide and jungle bars. Garden tomatoes nevertheless smiled perfectly plump while dangling from their vines.

 

The old lady on the ground level screamed, “Rotten kids! Goa to school, eh? Learn a somethin’ would-ya!” (She’s got some time until September when she’ll miss them) Later she’ll worry about them overheating and offer freshly made lemon-aid with anisette cookies.

 

Oh, how the children loved to laugh at her when she was riled-up that way, but not so much that it could be considered disrespectful. They knew better! Besides, her bluish-white hair offered a sense of security and comfort. Sometimes, Peppina, that was her name showed a picture of her late husband, Jimmy. A bricklayer. He died too young — a good man. Her heart can never heal. So, forever, she wears a black dress.

 

“Adesso, Sta ‘zitto! Sto cercando di riposare. Sono già stanco di questa vita.”  So the children would leave, Peppina, to rest, and hit the streets for some summer adventure.

 

Percolated coffee was always hot on the stove.  A gentle hint of garlic remained in the air regularly sautéed in a cast-iron pot. Sweet tomato pastes sizzled on Sunday. Clean linens on the beds every Saturday with the windows lifted for fresh air that takes away any sickness. An evening cigar enjoyed by an older man with red wine from a jug. Genoa salami on semolina was a snack. Freshly cut flowers placed on tables. Spray starch and an iron made for perfectly crisp collars. Plastic-couch-covers were most uncomfortable. These things, and the lives, laughter, sweat, and tears, from every soul that once lived there, fermented into the walls creating a singular most pleasant imaginable welcoming scent. Home on the storytime street in Brooklyn, New York.

 

When you go, remember me on the Upper East Side–Hipsters and Yuppies, swank gathering in Williamsburg for an Acai bowl, Wi-Fi, a latte, live music, and a cold brew.

 

We are all grown from the seeds of yesterday planted—all avenues of the world! Some new is better, but old is the wisdom that encapsulates us in goodness like love, and it saves us from getting too smitten with ourselves.

 

The steelworkers, bricklayers, electricians, carpenters, etc.… built the bridges across boroughs and buildings to skies the limit for today’s youth that sometimes foolishly or arrogantly forgets a “Greatest Generation”—how they fought for us. I am not so forgetful.

 

The leaves are beginning to fall with age on their weary veins. They begin to match my weathered years but not my heart. A breeze carries memories across town. I can see clearly from one corner to the next that time has passed and we all have changed, but simultaneously remain the same.

 

No matter how far we go, our roots call us home.

 

I am happy to meet you there and talk about our travels.

 

Maria Pisciotta-DellaPorte ©2019 All Rights Reserved

 

 

Swing-High (Edited)

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When I was a little girl,

I swung-high and low,

tried to touch the clouds with my toes.

A pair of sneakers with worn-out laces;

Collected memories in dirt-filled-soles—

Mill Pond –

the trees I climbed.

Each winding branch

an invitation:

To soar to new heights,

in the world and my spirit.

The days of tall grass fields, onion-scented,

and honeysuckle sweetness.

Oh, the sun shone loudly—

As if a chorus in the sky:

Not with light but imagination.

Friends challenged one another,

to balance,

walk on white-wooden fences,

dividing us from the street,

and constructed belief.

I learned to stand-tall,

on one leg,

the other behind,

arms like a bird.

The breeze was delicate,

innocence,

could carry you anywhere…

Sometimes,

with a close friend,

you’d simply sit in wonder,

talk secrets,

collect ladybugs that crawled

onto summer-drenched skin.

We had no doubts…

Honored our word.

When I was a little girl,

no one ever told me it’s impossible…

Adulthood:

Older eyes see things not so playfully,

and not necessarily true.

Somehow, somewhere, someone,

tells you,

you can’t,

and being so smart,

you trust,

settle into the misfortune

of doubt.

My little girl’s heart

is alive, in love, creating,

everything that I am—

She calls for me often

to touch the sky with my toes,

even if it seems no one ever has

or will.

“Be the one that tries

rather than a hopeless fool!”

For rigid is the road to devastation:

You may toss your sneakers,

and live your days in shattered bones—

Unknown

The Pancake

americanpancakes

It is said you are what you eat—

I’d like to bid farewell

to fifteen pounds,

but oh how bittersweet their memory…

And with that:

The griddle sizzles.

Little water bubbles

spritzed from my fingertips,

hop about, hot, in joyfulness.

It is a Saturday past,

long past—

The sun shining is a 1970’s toss,

between innocence and change.

It is a different brightness,

unscathed by disappointment,

and a thousand types

of death.

My mother’s apron is colorful fruit,

a vine of commitment,

tied decidedly around her beautiful waist,

(expanded and retracted,

seven times giving life).

The butter’s sweetness fills the air,

like lilacs scent a summer’s field.

A table waits with triangle-folded napkins.

Maple’s woody-amber flavor

will drizzle swirls with all the answers.

My father’s seat, at the head of the table,

seems larger than the rest.

He serves and is served.

Respect—

There is buckwheat,

vanilla,

eggs and milk,

golden-brown.

A batter churned,

and family…

My sisters enter,

each with their own style:

hippie, humble, tough, dreamer, conceited,

blue-eye-shadow—

The two boys: dark-haired princes.

Protectors.

Adventurers.

Learning…

Sometimes pleading for no sisters!

An AM/FM radio, sturdily

on the Formica kitchen counter,

plays mellow-rock,

matches the mood of a Long Island breeze,

swaying-gently sheer-white curtains.

Our dog, Pinky, sits upon a window seat.

watches for bicyclists,

setting-off her Beagle’s bark.

Quiet!

(Soon to be indulged with scraps).

Oh, how I love a good pancake—

Sweetness.

Love.

A loyal-pup.

My sister’s sass.

Brother’s bravery.

My beautiful mother’s nurturing…

Father’s lessons…

Saturday morning’s sunshine,

hopefulness.

All of it…

Because I am what I eat:

The nostalgic pancake.

Stacked,

a circle of heaven.

Cut-into,

and delightfully consumed.

Satisfy a space for

peace and happiness. 

What once was in every bite—

 fulltummieshappyfaces2

Maria Pisciotta-DellaPorte

©2015 All Rights Reserved

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***

 After thought – I discover in myself a revelation, that, the “pancake” in and of itself, in fact, is not an evil weight-inducing-conspiracy against me and my goals toward fitness, but rather what I seek in eating it is: the fulfillment beyond its flour-mix and fluffiness… What leads to much more indulging than I should, in an attempt to consume more than the meal itself, but that of the security of love and nurturing it was once served with on its porcelain plate. For as a child, the buttery-sweet pleasantry never created an extra pound. The meal ended where it was, with nourishment, energy, eaten together as a family. It wasn’t until later that the search for more than “its…” (not just the pancake) caloric nourishment, would lead to a less than gratifying experience, all while ingesting the heavenly bites in hope towards a fulfilling and happy life.

As an aside thought – Food is life’s source for survival. Love is the emotional source that gives way to great things: accomplishment, courage, charity, fortitude… Sometimes, the two sources become entangled and confused.

Swing High

Image

When I was a little girl I swung high and low,

and tried to touch the clouds with my toes,

in a pair of sneakers with worn-out laces,

that I learned to tie with the help of

a song about rabbit ears.

Collected memories in dirt-filled-soles,

of Mill Pond and the trees I climbed.

Each winding branch an invitation to soar,

to new heights,

in the world and in me.

The days of tall grass fields and Daffodils,

scents of onion, and honeysuckle sweetness.

Oh and how loudly the sun shone!

As if it were a chorus in the sky:

Hopes and dreams sung in children’s voices,

not just light, but imagination come to life–

We challenged one another to balance,

walk on the white wooden fences,

dividing us from the street,

and constructed belief.

I learned to stand tall, even on one leg,

with the other behind, then in front,

arms like a bird.

When you could you flew, and if not,

you fell and got back up again,

dusted-off the scrapes and bruises.

The breeze was delicate, innocent,

could heal and carry you anywhere…

We played softball in a dirt field with

made-up bases, raced up and down hills,

yelled:

You’re it!

We honored our word and knew the importance

of it as children.

…Called teams, jumped rope, hung tires,

even dug deeply down into the clay layers of soil

for China.

It’s true (and we actually believed we could!)

Sometimes with a close friend,

you’d just sit and wonder, talk secrets,

and collect the ladybugs or ants that crawled

onto your sun-drenched skin.

We had no doubts…

When I was a little girl no one ever told me

it’s impossible to touch the clouds with your toes.

They let you believe, reach for, and dream.

We weren’t encouraged not to because we may fail,

get hurt, or that things were unattainable, silly even,

but were encouraged to strive because trying

made anything possible—

As we grew into adulthood and older eyes,

from seeing the truth of things not so playful…

Something somewhere somehow said we couldn’t,

and being so smart we believed it,

and settled into that misfortune.

I carry around my little girl’s heart,

into love, into life, into creating,

in everything that I am—

(and it’s when someone suggests I shouldn’t that I hurt.)

…Into believing, into teaching my own daughter today,

and every little girl (boys too),

that  you should always strive to touch the sky

with your toes, even if it seems no one ever has

or will.

…Be the one trying and believing,

rather than a hopeless fool—

For rigid is the road to devastation.

And you could toss your sneakers,

and live your days in shattered bones.

Maria Pisciotta-DellaPorte

© 2014 All Rights Reserved

(this is still being edited)

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