Tag Archive: Poetry


ptsd1

I’ve come back,

lighter,

without the shame,

to collect the remains

of who I once was…

Like a Cashew,

out from its’ poisonous shell.

Can still taste the murder

of some unsuspecting victim,

 

that just liked nuts.

Or was that myself…

Anyhow,

it’s not about tragedy

that saves anyone,

but the monsters you forget—

When the sun shines unexpectedly,

on a Monday.

Your steady, even steps,

merge,

into the same shit

as yesterday…

Carry you more optimistically,

in direct conflict with

despair.

Everything is mysteriously

lenient,

ladylike.

The curtains,

how they drape,

perfectly:

A female ghost’s silhouette.

Yes,

the world, today, is a china shop.

A collection of all yesterday’s

teacups—

The vines,

delicate rims,

curved-handle for nuzzling

a hooked-finger.

 

The soft whispers of conversation,

refined,

with each sip…

Please and thank you,

take me about movement,

oh-so-precise and carefully,

that I should not remember

but remain oblivious,

to all that seeks to remind…

 

the self-destroyer.

The heavy pieces of burden,

a story told so well:

Fear, caution, control,

word,

and action,

stifles the ability to grow beyond its’ hold,

for your own sake…

To die the consequences daily.

Maria Pisciotta-DellaPorte © 2015 All Rights Reserved

Hoodwinked

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It is impossible for me

to market myself as a bird,

because one day you wake-up,

instinctively wanting…

to be a bird.

You grow feathers of prominent red,

streaks in bold black.

Your lips pucker and harden,

triangle themselves into a beak.

A tune from another world bellows,

inherently,

from the lungs inside your tiny ribcage.

Oh, and that hopeful fast beating heart—

I believe… I believe…

Set-off to fly!

Disenchanted-

Gaze downward, see,

feet planted-firmly

on the ground.

This is the dream I was sold,

by the angels

to dream.

And the devil,

he stole my talons

one digit at a time.

Maria Pisciotta-DellaPorte ©2015 All Rights Reserved

Need

40344-Half-Moon-Bridge

What I need-

Time:

to float, at ease,

catch-up,

dare to get ahead.

Fall-apart,

remembering…

Forget again…

Rebirth—

(Hope it catches you

on an upswing.)

A bonfire for burning memories,

and for watching their essence

become black-smoke-ghosts.

See them dance like swirling twisters,

hot in your dreams!

A guitar,

keys, to play my tune:

God’s mercy

in the lyrics.

Someone or other

to understand

every expression:

It isn’t all a straight line,

but molded

perfection.

Simple, complicated, or broken,

is as it should be—

(Pain remains only when there’s doubt.)

Arms that wrap around,

thank you, thank you…

A half-moon on the horizon,

its’ missing piece in my heart.

If it all adds up,

or it’s only love I give,

that you’ll remember

some random moment…

Grasp

what it was…

Smile subtly aware

Maria Pisciotta-DellaPorte ©2015 All Rights Reserved

God’s Blue Eyes

Unknown

At 2:00 A.M. I stir,

between the firm bed

(my permanent hip imprint on one side)

and a cotton white sheet.

There is a sense of movement outside

of myself.

The room with varying shadows,

cast from a light on a cable box, and

the Post Office window.

Two slats of the wooden blinds,

caught in an open position:

I look to see what I believe is a man,

with blue eyes, staring in at me.

What about me do you find so interesting?

I speak to him through my mind:

Are you a gentleman?

A sailor?

A villain or a spy?

“I trust I am a star.”

If I count them in the sky, can I help you,

get back to from where you came?

“You may…

Only don’t count yourself so lucky.”

Oh please, I am not so naïve!

Suddenly, the blinds seem to disappear.

The shadows become wings.

The light:

a darkness that provides perfect vision.

I am not in my bed but the hand of God—

The eyes of a man:

a majestic ship.

Carrying us both, two Seagulls, weightless,

upon the waves.

To the outer parts of the universe,

we go…

but not so far as to reach Heaven—

Before I find myself wondering,

on my pillow,

about things that only earth can bring:

housekeeping, finance, relationships… 

I should have known better than to dream!

The sailor at my window,

collected his eyes of blue,

all the wisdom of the galaxies,

and caught the next passing cloud

for the coast.

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Maria Pisciotta-DellaPorte ©2015 All Rights Reserved

 

americanpancakes

It is said you are what you eat—

I’d like to bid farewell

to fifteen pounds,

but oh how bittersweet their memory…

And with that:

The griddle sizzles.

Little water bubbles

spritzed from my fingertips,

hop about, hot, in joyfulness.

It is a Saturday past,

long past—

The sun shining is a 1970’s toss,

between innocence and change.

It is a different brightness,

unscathed by disappointment,

and a thousand types

of death.

My mother’s apron is colorful fruit,

a vine of commitment,

tied decidedly around her beautiful waist,

(expanded and retracted,

seven times giving life).

The butter’s sweetness fills the air,

like lilacs scent a summer’s field.

A table waits with triangle-folded napkins.

Maple’s woody-amber flavor

will drizzle swirls with all the answers.

My father’s seat, at the head of the table,

seems larger than the rest.

He serves and is served.

Respect—

There is buckwheat,

vanilla,

eggs and milk,

golden-brown.

A batter churned,

and family…

My sisters enter,

each with their own style:

hippie, humble, tough, dreamer, conceited,

blue-eye-shadow—

The two boys: dark-haired princes.

Protectors.

Adventurers.

Learning…

Sometimes pleading for no sisters!

An AM/FM radio, sturdily

on the Formica kitchen counter,

plays mellow-rock,

matches the mood of a Long Island breeze,

swaying-gently sheer-white curtains.

Our dog, Pinky, sits upon a window seat.

watches for bicyclists,

setting-off her Beagle’s bark.

Quiet!

(Soon to be indulged with scraps).

Oh, how I love a good pancake—

Sweetness.

Love.

A loyal-pup.

My sister’s sass.

Brother’s bravery.

My beautiful mother’s nurturing…

Father’s lessons…

Saturday morning’s sunshine,

hopefulness.

All of it…

Because I am what I eat:

The nostalgic pancake.

Stacked,

a circle of heaven.

Cut-into,

and delightfully consumed.

Satisfy a space for

peace and happiness. 

What once was in every bite—

 fulltummieshappyfaces2

Maria Pisciotta-DellaPorte

©2015 All Rights Reserved

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***

 After thought – I discover in myself a revelation, that, the “pancake” in and of itself, in fact, is not an evil weight-inducing-conspiracy against me and my goals toward fitness, but rather what I seek in eating it is: the fulfillment beyond its flour-mix and fluffiness… What leads to much more indulging than I should, in an attempt to consume more than the meal itself, but that of the security of love and nurturing it was once served with on its porcelain plate. For as a child, the buttery-sweet pleasantry never created an extra pound. The meal ended where it was, with nourishment, energy, eaten together as a family. It wasn’t until later that the search for more than “its…” (not just the pancake) caloric nourishment, would lead to a less than gratifying experience, all while ingesting the heavenly bites in hope towards a fulfilling and happy life.

As an aside thought – Food is life’s source for survival. Love is the emotional source that gives way to great things: accomplishment, courage, charity, fortitude… Sometimes, the two sources become entangled and confused.

Behind the Retina

retina

The sadness bellows

with every ice droplet,

falling from the winter sky:

A grey solitude,

too cold for the heart’s survival.

Here in a room of yesterday—

All the distracted shadows,

on lonely walls,

search a soul to attach to,

to become whole,

to live in warm flesh.

A promised future,

her fingers like magic,

painted propositions,

in yellow and pink.

 

Wanted. Waited. Wished.

Until the expectancy gave way to letting go.

They died together and apart—

Suddenly, one night became an eternity,

a lover answered the longing…

And a day promised endless sunshine.

Then like the stars appear with the moon,

everything became a mere visitor—

Doused like fire,

it went down like poison:

All the miraculous highlights-

The dances of flourishing energy-

Now harsh-jagged-complications.

Swallow,

and choke-upon the sweetness

that was:

a bitter ending,

to death do us part.

 

She woke-up crying inside her lover’s eyes,

where she wished to remain,

 

forever,

behind the retina,

the color,

away from the visionless-vampires,

 

Where she could see inward,

drowning-out the darkness inevitable in the light.

 

Maria Pisciotta-DellaPorte

© 2015 All Rights Reserved

CHRISTMAS

shepherds-field-nativity-painting-munir-alawi

CHRISTMAS

Excitement.

The Savior is born—

Our families celebrate:

Mass.

Mary, Joseph, Baby Jesus.

The Manger.

A little shepherd boy.

Three wise men.

Gold, Frankincense, Myrrh.

The Star of Bethlehem.

King of the Jews—

Meaning:

A new beginning.

Hope.

Forgiveness.

St. Nicholas adorned in a perfect white beard.

The merriment of children.

Gift giving.

And the Angel said unto them,

Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy,

which shall be to all people.”

 

“Glory to God in the Highest and on earth peace, good will toward men”

That’s what Christmas is all about…

A true story

of

acceptance,

faith.

Gathering loved ones (family and friends)

rejoice in this memory.

Share:

A table.

Delicious food.

Laughter.

Stories of yesteryear

Inspirational music.

A charitable time:

Remembering all of our brothers and sisters.

To give thanks.

To life…

And a miracle that falls upon us each year,

despite the business of our days,

minds;

 

A perfect, beautiful, quiet stillness,

gentle as a harp,

 

encapsulates our hearts.

 

Above all is

L O V E

Author Maria Pisciotta-DellaPorte

©2014 All Rights Reserved

Mine

Rainbow

Mine

This short space,

long in endurance,

has an abundance of fragments,

pieces to pull-apart and reassemble.

Where once there was:

A singular motion.

Belief.

Awareness and identity.

(Perhaps awareness was illusion.

Identity, a guest.

Motion, stillness in disguise.)

Come and stay for a while.

Here in this is your refuge,

Be this innocence, this joy,

 

Safe 

(From an otherwise negligent existence.)

 

Oh, but it was a life!

It had a road to follow.

A perfect wisdom—

(Little beating heart,

You always were so trusting.)

It shattered.

The foundation a quicksand

Damn it all to hell!

With a lullaby why don’t you…

“A pocketful of posies”

 

For the death of it all:

Scattered broken-delights,

escaped

into a world-unfortunate.

For experiencing less than perfect,

it is blessed all the same.

Honey,

capture the taste, sweet like a blossom, on your tongue,

before everything dissipates,

and you become a shadow to it all—

Remember:

Life’s meaning

IS

l o v e

For

what makes sense,

and doesn’t.

Comes or goes.

Touches tender the spot,

or

stings irreparably.

On, and on, and on…

We live and die

pleading for its capture,

to render our hearts helpless.

 Unknown

Maria Pisciotta-DellaPorte

©2014 All Rights Reserved

P I E C E S

Kaleidoscope-Circle

Everyone knows,

has been here and there…

Seen what has passed—

And Monday always gives way

to Tuesday.

But not everyone always remembers,

nor do they feel…

That everything is different but

the same,

same…

And I have this heart

that tells me,

And dreams that remind me—

Somebody, though, is going to tell you

it isn’t real.

Make you question,

and give it away like an illusion.

That will save the world,

and them!

Oh, but the story is a song,

playing on your emotion,

And all eyes opened or closed,

recognize it the same:

Dying to live again,

live again…

That one spectacular moment

(Whether it ever existed).

It’s the only practical

way to sanity,

Believing:

That you did,

He loved,

She was,

They came like rain,

And went like wind on a Saturday.

That there was a place

and time,

majestic—

Where it all came together:

How a kaleidoscope forms a butterfly,

          of all its broken pieces.

Maria Pisciotta-DellaPorte ©2014 All Rights Reserved

Admittedly

SPT 4

There’s a shadow on my back,

watching, listening—

I feel compelled to answer

to the son-of-a-bitch!

Meanwhile, meanwhile,

I don’t want to be censored!

Why do I have to explain myself?

To you,

and you…

And fuck him quite honestly—

R e v o l t!

That’s about the time I start

To retract my common sense,

go all whiny like a six year old:

Stepping-up on my toes,

pushing my heels outward,

pulling-up on the hem of my skirt,

contorting my arms behind my head

with excuses!!!

And I hate the weakness.

You just want to piss yourself!

When God gave some authority the right,

to manipulate your mind —

You learned

well,

the anxiety.

Control, control…

Repress the anger.

Fear and stuff it down

with a good dose of salty-sweet…

Blood on your teeth.

Attitude

Possess it!

You know,

pretend…

Take steps into,

1, 2, 3…

Whoever you need to be:

S a f e.

They talk about between,

in the grey—

but you know,

you know…

There’s only black and white.

It’s shown those

pearly-fangs

in the darkest-dark.

Even when you’re aware… 

It’s better not to be right,

become entangled

in how to choose everything

w i s e l y-

Until you go mad

searching for yourself—

And how brave it is:

To be you.

C o n f e s s…

Admittedly!

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Maria Pisciotta-DellaPorte ©2014 All Rights Reserved